It's mid July - 'tis almost the season for NFL training camps to spring into action. Super D and I get a bit antsy this time of the year, anxiously awaiting the advent of college football season and the Atlanta Falcons to hit the Dome turf. This year may be a little different...I think I'll follow the Colts or the Saints instead 'cause I refuse to support a team with a total dickhead for a quarterback who gets paid quatrillions of dollars to play inconsistently and act like a spoiled gangsta.
Paying off some ho to shut her skanky trap about your disease-ridden one-night stand was forgivable under the premise that she probably didn't really have a freaking clue as to who gave her herpes. Flipping off the fans who put all those Benjamins in your sharkskin wallet was a shameful no-no. You played poorly last year, Mike! And not so great the year before. What the hell do you expect? The fans are sick of your overpaid ass underperforming. And then the possible reason for your sketchy athleticism last season came in the form of a water bottle with a hidden ganja compartment still reeking of your last hit at the Miami airport. Brilliant, Mexico, just bloody brill...
I'm sure you paid off the authorities to lose the evidence and forget the incident ever happened just like you have paid off everyone in Surry County, VA to sweep your little dog-fighting *ahem* I mean dog-breeding operation under the biggest rug on the east coast. THIS is what cemented my opinion of you, Mikey. I DO believe that a person is innocent until proven guilty, but it's pretty obvious your guilt has caused you to do some rash things lately, like selling said multi-million dollar dog buriel ground property for a quarter of its value. Trying to get rid of some evidence at the ol' "Bad Newz Kennelz", huh? And what about all the other fight attendees who have crawled out of their slimeholes to prove that you were betting almost $50K per dogfight? If the Surry County DA can't get his head out of his ass, your money out of his pocket and actually do what's right, the federales will step it up as they already have. Then you'll wish you had some real friends who actually give a damn about you, Mike.
Super D and I own two loving, loyal pit bulls that were rescued from our local Humane Society, and we have seen the brutality and immense cruelty of dogfighting from our many volunteer hours at the shelter. Everyone on the planet save for a few pious individuals has indulged in a little drug experimentation and/or salacious sexual activity at some point in their lives. Well, some people...*winks* But intentionally forcing dogs (or any animals) to attack, mutilate and possibly kill each other is evidence of humanity at its most heartless and soulless.
I used to really like you, Michael. I proudly wore your jersey on game day and cheered like a crazy woman every time you ran with the ball. I guess yours is one jersey I won't be wearing this year. Or ever again. You can have it back. Hope you like the modifications.
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1 comment:
I hope you really burned it in effigy.
Actually, I don't. Ron Mexico is every man's idol, I don't care what they say. Well, maybe third idol, after Bear Grylls and his wife (any woman to tame Bear Grylls is more man than I am).
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